The Pants Offensive

Pants can be sneaky.  They often masquerade around by other sly little names in order to confuse the global pants-hating community.  But do not be fooled.  Members of The Pants Offensive must be smart and educated in pants’ devious ways.

Here are some ways pants will try to disguise their true name:

• Trousers : Commonly spotted in English countries such as England and Canada, and rural farm communities in the upper midwest.
• Knickers : Many people have been fooled by pants calling themselves knickers, and been duped into wearing them with a false sense of security.
• Slacks : This group of pants are a high-falootin’ pompous bunch.  They dress themselves up to look fancy, enticing wearers with promises of prosperity and riches, only to be later arrested on Ponzi scheme charges, leaving their wearers bankrupt and impoverished.  Be very cautious of these pants.

It’s important to recognize these sneaky pants.  You must have a good eye, and a cautious nature when dealing with these varieties of pants.

Pants are proven to slow the global economy.  Worlwide there are 6 billion people, most of which wear pants (there are some cool tribes in Africa and women in the Amazon who have denounced pants since the beginning of time and remain immune to their evil lure).  That’s a lot of pants for people to be wasting money on.