The Pants Offensive

In an effort to repair their tarnished image following the porn scandal at the Securities and Exchange Commission, the SEC just announced that they will enforce a no-pants policy to curb employees from viewing porn during work hours on government computers.

A senior spokesperson from the SEC has said that the new policy will make it much harder to inconspicuously view pornography at the SEC.  “By banning pants for all workers, we hope to catch those porn junkies and make it harder for them to hide behind their pants.  This will allow us to focus on what really matters, which is figuring out where all the country’s money went.”

We at The Pants Offensive like this thinking and truly hope that such a wonderfully brilliant policy will solve the financial crisis.  What do you think?