The Pants Offensive

While Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab gets all the attention for his attempt to blow up the airplane bound for Detroit on Christmas day 2009, it’s less talked about that he had a brilliant evil-genius for an accomplice… Pants.

Pants were able to sneak in the explosive device and conceal it, inconspicuously ushering it past security checkpoints, metal detectors, K9 bomb sniffing dogs, and the casual unsuspecting public.

How did pants achieve this?  Because they have infiltrated our society.  Everyone is made to wear pants in some shape or form while flying.  If Umar had not been wearing pants, people would clearly have seen the explosive device hiding next to his twig ‘n berries before he even got on the plane.  “Hey, what’s that bomb doing in your underwear?”

Instead, pants brilliantly masterminded this attack attempt.  If no one was wearing pants, and Umar tried to wear pants to conceal the bomb, he would have been extremely suspicious and been searched by security for wearing pants.

The lesson here is, pants should be banned while flying because they are linked to terrorists.